Monday, August 30, 2010

Hair Metal Monday: Power Ballads

Never post prom pictures on the internet
 Hair Metal gave us some of the greatest aggressive exercise music ever made: Kickstart My Heart (Motley Crue), We're Not Gonna Take It (Twisted Sister), and of course Round and Round (Ratt).  But these cross dressing maestros were more than just tough guys, they were sensitive men whose hearts could be broken just like yours and mine.  Of course, they didn't cry--not only would that be unmanly, they also had the whole mascara issue to deal with.  Instead they wrote songs.
There are three criteria that make a song a power ballad: Obviously it is slower (so you can slow dance), the singer has to look incredibly melancholy (extra points if the music video follows a story line where a beautiful model breaks up with the lead singer and/or dies), and it must contain a righteous guitar solo.
These power ballads pull at your heartstrings, and should not be listened to without the expressed permission of your therapist because too much exposure can cause extreme lovesickness.
 So here are my top ten power ballads
10. Headed for a Heartbreak by Winger- Kip Winger's hair is awesome.
9.  Fly to the Angels by Slaughter- a song about untimely death
8. Carrie by Europe- Obviously a song about a girl named Carrie
7. Alone Again by Dokken- no explanation needed
6. Love Bites by Def Leppard- Great slow dancing song with bittersweet overtones
5. Is this Love by Whitesnake- a philosophical exploration of romantic love
4. Don't Know What You Got (till it's gone) by Cinderella- so true....
3. Home Sweet Home by Motley Crue- This video is the greatest live concert collection ever made
2. Every Rose has it's Thorn by Poison- "To see you cuts me like a knife" one of the greatest lines ever delivered by one of the greatest front men ever
1. Love of a Lifetime by Firehouse- This song takes me back to the skating rink and couples skating with Julie McMillin, tears streaming down my face, and that moment seemed to last forever....

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