Hair Metal Monday: Cinderella

Whenever I wonder how Glam Rock could have possibly given way to that unholy pseudo music called "grunge", I need only remember the heights of lunacy embodied by bands like Cinderella.  This group embraced every Glam Rock stereotype: Ultra big hair, transvestite pirate outfits, over the top music videos, and attitude like nobody's business.  It seems almost oxymoronic that their biggest hit was "Nobody's Fool".....hmmmmm.
By the end of the 80's there were so many Glam rip-offs that the Sunset Strip was populated solely by androgynous crowds moving from one party to the next--ah the good ol' days.
The really tragic element in this scenario is that Cinderella for all their faults (which are legion) they were really a good band.  They could play their instruments and lead singer, Tom Keifer, had a great, albeit AC/DC voice.  They wailed.  Their music was solid, but their bravado outshone their talent.  In the end, they were just another Sunset Strip band that went the way of the dinosaur....too bad.  Their rookie album "Night Songs" went multi-platinum and their follow up effort "Long Cold Winter" is also a solid album.  They kept going even into the 90's and possibly their greatest song, "Hot and Bothered" is featured on the Wayne's World soundtrack alongside Queens uber-hit "Bohemian Rhapsody".  Cinderella rocks, but few remember this once heralded quartet; if you want to know why watch this.

Hair Metal Monday: Power Ballads

Never post prom pictures on the internet

 Hair Metal gave us some of the greatest aggressive exercise music ever made: Kickstart My Heart (Motley Crue), We're Not Gonna Take It (Twisted Sister), and of course Round and Round (Ratt).  But these cross dressing maestros were more than just tough guys, they were sensitive men whose hearts could be broken just like yours and mine.  Of course, they didn't cry--not only would that be unmanly, they also had the whole mascara issue to deal with.  Instead they wrote songs.

There are three criteria that make a song a power ballad: Obviously it is slower (so you can slow dance), the singer has to look incredibly melancholy (extra points if the music video follows a story line where a beautiful model breaks up with the lead singer and/or dies), and it must contain a righteous guitar solo.

These power ballads pull at your heartstrings, and should not be listened to without the expressed permission of your therapist because too much exposure can cause extreme lovesickness.

 So here are my top ten power ballads

10. Headed for a Heartbreak by Winger- Kip Winger's hair is awesome.

9.  Fly to the Angels by Slaughter- a song about untimely death

8. Carrie by Europe- Obviously a song about a girl named Carrie

7. Alone Again by Dokken- no explanation needed

6. Love Bites by Def Leppard- Great slow dancing song with bittersweet overtones

5. Is this Love by Whitesnake- a philosophical exploration of romantic love

4. Don't Know What You Got (till it's gone) by Cinderella- so true....

3. Home Sweet Home by Motley Crue- This video is the greatest live concert collection ever made

2. Every Rose has it's Thorn by Poison- "To see you cuts me like a knife" one of the greatest lines ever delivered by one of the greatest front men ever

1. Love of a Lifetime by Firehouse- This song takes me back to the skating rink and couples skating with Julie McMillin, tears streaming down my face, and that moment seemed to last forever....

Hair Metal Monday: Whitesnake

One of the greatest treasures of Rockdom is Whitesnake's titular album--containing 9 incredible tracks, 3 of which are legitimate top 10 hits.  If I were trapped on a deserted island, and were only allowed to take 5 albums with me, this would be on the list.

Whitesnake is not my favorite band (RATT will always hold that position), but I think David Coverdale might be the greatest Front Man in the business...that hair, that voice, that brooding stare.  He's got the whole package.

Be honest, the first day you got your driver's license, you know you popped this cassette in the tape deck, put on black leather gloves (or in my case my mom's gardening gloves), turned up the volume on "Here I go again", and drove down to Dairy Queen....feeling alive for the very first time.  OK maybe that was just me.  And every time I hear "Is this Love", I'm transported back to junior high dances held in our gymnasium...that aroma of romance and sweat socks--my first taste of unrequited love.

"I don't know where I'm going, but I sure know where I've been"....Whitesnake has helped me navigate "the only road I've ever known" and for that I will always be grateful.

So "make up your mind, and don't waste no more time" and give Whitesnake a listen.

Hair Metal Mondays

Since I've had so much fun writing about cheesy movies, I thought I would reflect on the golden age of music--those days when dudes with long hair, stiletto heels, and makeup roamed the streets of Hollywood--the zenith of guitar virtuosos and lead singers who were more concerned with stage presence than actual vocal ability--that magical music was Hair Metal (a.k.a Glam Rock).

I'll begin with my all time favorite Hair Metal Band: RATT
RATT is comprised of:
Stephen Pearcy- Lead Vocals, Front Man, Swagger
Warren DeMartini- Lead Guitar,
Robin Crosby- Guitar (RIP)
Bobby Blotzer- Drums
Juan Croucier- Bass

I remember my first introduction to RATT.  My brother brought home their cassette entitled "Invasion of Your Privacy", and from the moment I heard the first riff of "You're in Love" I was hooked: transported from rural Louisiana to the SunsetStrip at the Whiskey Agogo.  I was mesmerized by the blazing guitar riffs, the scratchy, wailing voice of Stephen Pearcy, the feeling in the pit of my stomach as I was listening to something forbidden.  (My dad thought the "rock" music of Helen Reddy was too seedy for me to listen to)  It represented everything I wanted my life to be.  I wanted to grow my hair out, spray it with Aquanet, and tease it out to the breaking point...unfortunately my hair looks more like Greg Brady's than Steven Pearcy's...."hey there groovy chick"

Alas, history has not been kind to the rock gods of Sunset blvd, but RATT showed me there was a larger world out there.  They really gave me my first (and last) feeling of rebellion.  They made me truly understand the meaning of the phrase: RATT N' ROLL.
RATT N' ROLL indeed!                 
Here is the song that set me on the road to complete cultural oblivion!